One of my favorite things in life is travel, and in retirement, my husband and I been able to take numerous trips. We want to keep going as long as we are able. Some of our trips are to foreign countries, some around the U.S. or within New Mexico, and nearly every trip results in unexpected adventures and often in making new connections, new friends, or reconnecting with family and longtime friends. We are always aware that we are fortunate to know our families and have information on ancestors and family history. That is another reason we believe so strongly in everyone with adoption connections having access to their own information, that it should be a right and not a privilege.

This year we made two major road trips. The first was to Colorado to visit longtime friends, then on to Idaho, where we visited my step-daughter from my first marriage, her husband, and one of her brothers. I had not seen him since 1971, when he was a little boy. It is a joy to have them in our lives, and to share not only memories, but new experiences. We are not genetically related, but it doesn’t matter. She said, “I’m tired of step and half, we’re all just family!”

From there, we went on to Moscow, Idaho, to visit one of my sons and his family, and to attend a granddaughter’s high school graduation. We had just two weeks previously attended another granddaughter’s graduation in Rio Rancho. She is not genetically related to us, but is our dear granddaughter. In Idaho, we also visited a close friend and former colleague who had just turned 90.

Then, we went to Libby, Montana, where a high school classmate lives. She also seems like family, after a 61-year friendship that started in high school study hall. Her husband also recently turned 90. The four of us drove to Banff, Lake Louise, and Jasper, Canada, for a week of unexpected adventures, including glaciers, beautiful lakes, and mixed-up hotel reservations. These are folks with whom we could share just about anything.

In July, an 11-year-old grandson came to visit, his first visit with us on his own. He enjoyed spending time with his cousins here and, we hope, with us. He is not concerned about which of us he is biologically related to or who is a first cousin and who is a cousin’s cousin. He likes Grandpa Jay’s classic cars and wishes he could have them some day. We left August 29 for a 34-day road trip through 16 states, to visit some family we had seen last year, such as Jay’s 98-year-old uncle, Barbara’s cousin in Missouri, and high school and college friends. We also visited two of Barbara’s double second cousins (figure out how that works!) she had last seen when she and one of them were 13, the other one about two years old. We have led very different lives, but the bond of family is still there, and we enjoyed sharing stories and memories, and making new ones. As we get older, those ties, those experiences, become more precious.

As we traveled on to Indiana, we found my fourth-great-grandmother’s grave in a tiny cemetery, after crawling under a gate. Nearly all the markers in that little place represented some sort of relative, none of whom I ever knew, of course, from nearly 200 years ago. But because I had taken this ancestor’s name in 1988 (Free), I was determined to find her grave. Jay also found ancestors’ graves in Indiana and Ohio, a quiet way of making connections he never knew he had until recently. We visited one of my sons in Illinois; we had not been together in nearly three years. Keeping in touch even with immediate family is not always easy. From there, we visited a high school friend in Ohio, who was not a close friend then, but is now. One never knows which friendships will persist and develop over time.

Our next goal was a former ferry crossing on the Potomac River, Watkins Ferry, which I’d read about in Family Tree Magazine. A man had discovered it was owned by his sixth-great-grandfather. When I read the article, I knew it was also my sixth-great-grandfather! It has a lot of historical connections, yet we’d never heard of it before. Going there, we learned more about my family history. Then we went to Gettysburg, so important to our national history, our shared national family. A feeling of sadness still pervades the battleground, reminding us that even people who were biological relatives were sometimes pitted against each other, and we all bear those sad cultural memories.

The Hershey Chocolate Factory in Hershey, Pennsylvania, was just for fun, and is also part of our national heritage and for most of us, our childhood memories have Hershey candy associations. Yes, we indulged in some chocolate there, and hauled a large bag home. We went on to the Boone family historical places in Pennsylvania, finding homes and meeting houses of ancestors for both of us, and meeting a fellow Boone descendant. We share 10th-great-grandparents! So do thousands of other people; yet we were told that only once before had two descendants arrived at the same time who had not known about each other. At Valley Forge and other Philadelphia-area places with historical significance, we found places where ancestors of several lines had lived, worshiped, or fought in times past, as long as 300 years ago. Staying in a really bad hotel in Philadelphia, we reminded ourselves that it was still way better than a leaky cabin in the winter at Valley Forge!

In Virginia, we found ancestral plantations, places we could take pride in and some we could not, and knew that we are not responsible for their behavior or customs, but that it’s all part of our heritage. At Monticello, learned the same about better-known people, including Thomas Jefferson. We also found ourselves on land owned by that same fourth-great-grandmother and -grandfather who later went to Kentucky and then she went to Indiana. Even in those days, people moved a lot, hoping for better lives. As we headed back west, we visited a 91-year-old friend in Knoxville, Tennessee, still actively engaged in activities for human rights, and finally to long-time friends in Oklahoma, with whom we have multiple ties.

We arrived home on October 1st, tired but happy that we had made new memories, new connections, renewed old ones, and learned a lot. we realized that genealogical and genetic connections are important, but so are connections of the heart. By being open to new experiences and new connections, our lives are made fuller and more meaningful. Whether we live another day or many more years, every day can be an adventure! Family connections aren’t just about DNA or written records, and yet those can be very important, too. All relationships are, in the end, both destiny and choice.