Over the past several years, many adoption search support groups have gone out of existence, or become very small. Many people assume that everyone can just search on the Internet, or find birth family through DNA testing, and that it is all quite simple and inexpensive, and there’s no real need for intermediaries, search organizations, or support groups. Some later join an online group related to search or reunion, but many do not.

It seems to us that there is a new need for adoption-related support groups. It is true that several states now allow adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates, which is far more than was readily available twenty years ago, but just having one’s birth certificate does not tell a person where their birth family is, what name changes they might have undergone, nor if the person(s) are open to being contacted, let alone to building a relationship. Furthermore, these laws are designed to give adult adoptees access, and uniformly disallow access to the relinquished offspring’s information by birth parents, let alone siblings, grandparents, or other birth family members. They still need to find a searcher or search organization in most states. Those who were raised, or spent time, in the foster-care system also find it difficult to locate former foster parents or family, unless they were old enough to remember names and possibly addresses from when they were in foster care.

Another really important issue is that searching for birth family through the Internet and DNA tests may help a person discover their ethnic background, and even help find birth parents, siblings, or other biological relatives (through matching and triangulation), but tests and matching websites cannot help with knowing how best to contact family, how to approach someone who has never known of the adoptee’s existence, how to deal with the information revealed by the tests, nor how to develop a real relationship with the relatives they have discovered, if a relationship is desired.

Those are issues that support groups, such as Operation Identity, are meant for.

Many people do not even know such groups exist. Sometimes a person goes looking for help, chances upon the O.I. website, and calls; or they read an article in a past newsletter, and call.

There is a real need for support groups to get the word out that they exist, and that individuals are welcome to join, for support, information, and sharing. Because there are fewer groups now than ever before, networking among groups is harder, and getting our existence known is not easy. Aside from our website, or someone finding us via word of mouth, publicity is hard to come by. In the past, when searching for birth family was new and difficult, but rather exciting, newspapers were eager to interview those who had searched or had been found, and those who were starting adoption-related support groups. Now newspapers are fewer, are less local in focus, and have far fewer local reporters who will pursue stories such as searching for family, or having a support group. Yet many who have found family through DNA tests and other online means, are unsure about how to proceed, or what to do with their own thoughts and feelings. Certainly a live group, where people can look each other in the eye, listen, offer a tissue or a hand, or rejoice in another’s good news, meets a need that no online or paper printout can. A group can also offer suggestions, members can share their own experiences, and real friendships can develop.

We welcome ideas about publicity and networking, how to keep a group going, or how to attract both new members and former members. The easiest way to contact us is to call one of the persons listed on Page 2 under “Understanding Hearts,” or just come to an O.I. meeting. Our meetings are confidential and open to all interested adults. We are not a therapy group, nor a 12-Step program, and we do not conduct searches. We offer support, suggestions, and the benefit of our own experiences.